HW 36 - Pregnancy & Birth Stories

Person #1

I was the second child. My parents had already had my older brother for a year when they found out they were pregnant with me. They followed the footsteps they had set when they had my brother while my mother was pregnant. My mom went in to labor at 3 in the morning. So they dropped my brother off with a friendly neighbor and took my mom to the hospital. On the way there they thought it was a false alarm and began to turn back, but they were wrong. They described it to me as i was almost born in the car. To my mother, this had already become routine. She, again refused any medication or painkillers that the hospital would offer her. Several hours after entering the hospital, she was now holding her second son. Not 5 minutes had passed since she had given birth and her parents were already waiting outside to meet their new grandchild. She hadn't even had a chance to clean herself up yet. But they were just as excited as my mom was to meet me.

Person #2

I never met my real parents. There has never really been a discussion about them in my house because i accept the people who raised me as my parents. Not the people who gave me away. So i don't know the exact story of my birth. I know that before i was a year old, my parents came and flew to seattle and picked me up from the family that had given birth to me. I don't know the exact specifications of the trade, i don't know if my parents paid them, or if the other family gave me up because they knew they couldn't take care of me. All i know is i am home now.

Person #3

I am the oldest child in my family. My mom has told me time and time again about how she would bathe me in the sink with the baby book open next to her. Everything she did was out of her best judgement mixed with what the baby book had told her to do. She was young an inexperienced in the world of giving birth, so she was scared. She didn't want to do anything wrong because she didn't want to have that on her conscious. When she went into labor she made my father rush her to the hospital. She spent a total of 16 hours in labor. She refused drugs because she didn't believe in them. She said the faces my father made while she was giving birth was almost worth it. She said that as soon as the doctor walked out of the room, she saw her parents peering in the room looking to see their first grandchild. My mom said that the first time she held me, she knew i was hers. She felt the bond between us. Something that can never be broken she said.

What inspires pregnancy in women? Is it a motherly instinct or is it natural? Are they afraid of what will happen after words or are they willing to accept that for what they will be creating?

HW 34 - Some Initial Thoughts On Birth

As a teenager i look at birth as an after effect of sex, not as some primal need to reproduce. In the animal kingdom it is a necessity to reproduce and to have the most babies so that your species continues because you are at a constant threat of predators and higher ups on the food chain. Pregnancy can be scary for all parties involved. You are creating life, for the woman, they need to hold and grow a child inside them for 9 months. They need to change their eating habits, their working habits, and how they go about daily life. Not only that, but it is a stigma to be pregnant. People look at you differently and treat you differently. If you are on the train you offer your seat to someone with disabilities or someone who is pregnant. Not only that, but pregnancy is an incredibly painful process. It changes your body.

Even more important then that, it changes your mind. It changes how you think and act, you are no longer just responsible for yourself, but you are responsible for someone else who isn't able to take care of them self. They rely on you totally and completely to nurture them and teach them and just take care of them.

Some Questions i had:

• Are women afraid of pregnancy?
• What percentage of women are single mothers?
• How often do women die during childbirth?
• What are the infant mortality rates in the U.S.?
• What are the depression rates of pregnant women?

HW 33

Amhara,
I think that you have a strong voice in what you believe to be a "broken system." You made very broad but poignant statements to the missing pieces of the health care system. You are right to say that it is a rat race per say of who can make the most and therefore be the most protected from pending disasters. As just a side note, you do have some minor spelling and grammar issues that distract the reader from what you are really trying to say. But other then that, good job
Sam

Matt,
I was really impressed by your positive life attitude towards such a depressing topic. I do agree though that we focus too much on the death aspect of life, rather then enjoying the time we are given. I feel that it is more of a religious question as to how the life we live affects the death we die. But you are very right to say "they're the moments where everybody is smiling. These are the moments that are priceless." You did need to work on your grammar and spelling, but i think that if you reread it and made those quick corrections then this piece would greatly improve. I did enjoy reading this though.
Sam

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sam,

It seems to me that the idea of lingering on the earth in your final years worries you a lot. I have a question about a question you made above:"I was the most curious as to if you were 85 and you knew that you were finished with everything that you wanted to do on earth and you knew you were dying, would you die? Or do you stick around until your body says you can go?"
Are you asking whether your attitude toward death could expedite or slow down the dying process? If so then I think a fascinating thought that you should definitely look more into. Another question you could ask is how does your setting in your final years (home, retirement home, hospital) affect your attitude toward dying. I could see through your writing that you were on the brink of asking that question yourself

Amhara

Younger Brother (Eli)
Your opinion on the value of end-of-life care is very interesting. You take the whole countries interest and realize that people suck up the healthcare system in their final days. You don't outwardly say that but it is implied by statements such as "I just think it is ridiculous that it costs so much money for the end of life care where you live your final days hooked up to machines".

To respond I would just ask what about the loved ones. When grandma passed we valued every second. Imagine what grandpa thought. This is hard to think about but it proposes that you only live once. Yes it is hard to let go, but this life is our only one (as far as we know). So why not spend boatloads of money just for another day. If it means one more smile, then you could argue its worth it.

Mentor (Mother)
"Or do you stick around until your body says you can go?"
If only the solution were that simple. You talked a little about health care and the end of life as living winds down. I think there is no clear cut answer -- there is the life of the dying, and of the living to consider. there is what medicine can do to prolong life, but as you pointed out, is it always for the better? As we all approach a time when the purposefulness of our life is in question maybe we will be fortunate enough to reflect back on some of these words, and as medicine helps or hinders, we find some peace in the life we lived.

HW 32 - Thoughts following illness & dying unit

Throughout this unit I had the reoccurring question, what happens after we die? So for this unit I was less interested in the political side of healthcare, but in the ripples it causes and how illness and dying affect the thought process a person has. During the elevator speeches Alex made a great statement, he said "I think that the body doesn't want to die, even if the mind does." This was a perfect example of what I was looking at this unit. For my final project I looked at how people who were living in a retirement home acted and how it compared to my own grandfather who is living in Florida. I was very interested in what causes someone to die when they get to that age. Not in the scientific aspect of it, but in the moral and existentialist perception of life and death. I was the most curious as to if you were 85 and you knew that you were finished with everything that you wanted to do on earth and you knew you were dying, would you die? Or do you stick around until your body says you can go? This is where the path becomes hazy because not only does this suggest a separation between body and soul, but it suggests that we are more in control of our life force then we thing we are.

If I were to say something about the health care system aspect of the illness and dying unit. I think that it is outrageous that so much money is spent on health care, especially the end of life care. But this also connects back to my original ideal that people need to be at peace with themselves when they die, so lying in your bed at home in pain waiting for death doesn't seem ideal for most people. They want every precaution taken because death is scary. I just think it is ridiculous that it costs so much money for the end of life care where you live your final days hooked up to machines, pumped full of numbing pain medication. I don't care if people choose to appreciate death or not, I do care that all of these people don't understand it as fully and will do everything in their power to avoid it. Death can't be avoided, it claims you eventually, just appreciate the time you do have.

HW 31 - Comments 3

Amber,
I agree with Amhara that you did choose an interesting topic, but again, maybe weave in a story that relates to how your experience of the health care system in England compared to your experience of the United State's health care system. I saw that you put a lot more ideas into your research column but you didn't address many of those points in your post. I think that if you sorted out your ideas here and put some of your own opinions into this project then you could have something very good.
Good start,
sam

Amhara,
I didn't realize how similar our ideas were until i read your blog. I really liked how you addressed how people are afraid of death because they don't want to die with regrets or missed opportunities. I think you did a very good job of picking videos that represent what you are looking for because after watching a few minutes of the first and second videos it becomes more apparent the real divide between dying old and dying young. It makes me think more into the issue which means that you have a good topic but i think that what you have written doesn't do it the full justice it deserves.
It was still very good non-the-less
Sam

Rigel,
You have really good ideas here that show a great deal of depth and understanding, but your grammar mistakes and poor wording in some parts were killing me. They took away so much credibility from your piece because the little mistakes you are making do distract the reader from the message you were trying to get at. I understand what you are trying to say in terms of the various ways of dealing with death and how your culture deals with that. I think that if you focused on one aspect of a "cultural" death, and wrote about that, then you would have a more logical train of thought that would be easier to follow.
Good start though,
Sam

Chris,
I really liked this post. It had depth and real, motivated thought behind it. I think that because this was such a personal issue with you so you felt inspired and it really shows in your writing. Strokes can be devastating not just to a person, but to the person's family a well. This man had to change his diet, he requires help all the time, he is a different man. It shows you how fragile life can be and how easily everything you know can be flipped upside down. Good post chris, maybe just watch out for some of the little grammar mistakes, but then again, who am i to say anything about grammar.
Good job,
Sam

------------------------------------------------------

Sam,

I really enjoy your style of writing because, through it, you allow me to enter your head and see you how analyze and reflect on certain situations. It is enlightening to such a clear point of view. I thought it was interesting when you acknowledged how people of different age groups have different perspectives in the first paragraph because it relates to my project topic a lot. It's refreshing to see someone with a similar thought process as me.

-Amhara

Sam,

After reading your project I loved your set up of how after you visited the Hallmark that you connected it to various authors to back up your point and that is a great technique. But what really caught my eye in your post was your thoughts on the people inside of the Hallmark. The entire first paragraph which is what I'm referring where you describe the place as ornate and the people as not engaged as a happy person should be. I loved the way you made this observation so clearly. All of the people I know in my family see old folk's homes in such a different way but you describe it in the way it is suppose to be described and I have the same view's on them as you.

-Brendan

Sam,

Agreeing to what Amhara said i really enjoyed you're style of writing, I apologize about the way i write my blog i have a bad habit of rushing what I'm trying to explain. Reading your blog made me want to better what I'm writing since people are going to read my work, so i thank you. Now to your blog, you did a really good job at comparing and contrasting the senior center grandfather's house. It created a new view of what a senior citizens home really looked like, because I've never been to one I've always had this view that it was this homey hospital looking place. It might be for some but maybe for not the Hallmark one. Most of all you had a really good ending for your blog, instead of having just a catchy ending, you asked questions, and answered them which flowed and carried on to become this catchy ending. So Good job.

-Rigel

Younger Brother (Eli)
The way you use grandpa's house as a theme throughout your writing makes it very easy to understand your ideas. In creating such a cement idea you have a great basis to work off of. I also loved how you took such a complex and deep idea, death, and broke it down. You made it relatable and understandable to me. Most importantly though your input on what death means, using phrases such as "There is only 1 sure thing in life, and that is that you will die one day". To me, being able to show what death means is genius. Its so hard just to wrap my head around it, but showing me that it will come one day, and that not knowing is so great. Great work Sam.

Mentor (Mother)
I am always so impressed with the astute eye you have developed as you look at those who are aging, and in fact dying, as we all are. The juxtaposition of the ornate decor of the Hallmark with the stillness of the people that are living there is a stunning visual. What really struck me is once again how deeply you understand the end of life with the passing of your grandmother, and how you so well understood how ... "My Grandmother was able to come to peace with herself before she died. I think she did that long before she actually died because she stopped talking, but she was still very alert. She just didn't want to shatter the silence she had created of herself. When she spoke it was always something important. She had stopped wasting words." ... We all saw for ourselves how true this was, and can reflect on it as both living and dying with grace.
Your grandfather's life is more curious to us, because we all understand that he really didn't start living until his wife was dying. He was all of a sudden called into action to shepherd the woman he loved through the last motions of living. And then once she was gone, he slowly shifted back into the filtered slow motion time of day to day living.
your work on this topic has been a great eye opening body of work. Congratulations.

HW 30 - Illness & Dying - Culminating Experiential Project

The first thing i noticed when i walked into the Hallmark (Senior Living Center), was how similar it felt to my grandfather's house. It was very high class, with paintings lining the walls with big ornate chairs, picture frames and vases. My grandfather's house isn't ornate, but it reminded me of his house because it felt like a museum, it was cold inside and everything had a feeling that you weren't supposed to touch it, and much like with my grandpa in Florida, the people were all talking and seemed to be having pleasant conversations, but they were detached. If you were to compare conversations between different age groups, you would notice that as people get older, they get less excited while they talk and less seems to amaze them. In the Hallmark the way the people moved around, they seemed to just be going through the motions of people who have been acting out the same play for too long. They knew the routine of life, and they were tired of it, but they didn't know where to go, life is the only routine they had ever known. So really what else was there?

In the film Near Death by Frederich Wiseman (1989), every patient was lying on their deathbed, and the Doctors were doing everything they could to keep them alive for just a bit longer, either because it was their job to keep the patient alive through all measures possible, or because the family wants to keep them alive because they don't want to say to pull the plug. The patients who can still talk can say to the doctors they want to be taken off of life support, but they don't. At what point do these people stop living? Is it when they can no longer talk or eat or go to the bathroom without the help of a machine? In Patricia Polacco's book In Our Mother's House she makes an analogy to death that particularly struck me. She said that we hold on to the grass as we lie on our backs in a field staring up in to the night sky because we might float off the planet if we let go. It sounds scary to let go and become a part of the unknown, that is why people look at death as the end, because they don't know what comes next.

When i called my grandpa to ask him about his daily life, I didn't have the guts to ask him about death. I asked him what he does every day. He says he wakes up and eats breakfast, then he heads over to the pool to be with his friends. He goes shopping some days, and he goes to the movies other days. The only time he is alone is when he is at home. This brought to mind the Hallmark, where everyone was in their own group, but what happens when they go back to their rooms? I imagine that they are by themselves and are pretty lonely because they are no longer with their family or loved ones. Then it struck me that these people are here and are they way they are because they are afraid. They know that death isn't far off and they have lived long lives, but they don't know what to expect next, so they stay hanging on as long as they can so they can come to terms with it. A luxury that not everyone gets to experience. My Grandmother was able to come to peace with herself before she died. I think she did that long before she actually died because she stopped talking, but she was still very alert. She just didn't want to shatter the silence she had created of herself. When she spoke it was always something important. She had stopped wasting words.

Why does all of this matter? What is the significance of being able to come to terms with your death? There is only 1 sure thing in life, and that is that you will die one day, but even something of such momentous standing is still something we can never fully prepare for. We aren't always in control of when or how we die, but would that make it better? Would people feel more comfortable if they knew they were in complete control of their death? I believe the answer is no. Even as we get older we are still afraid to die because of the mystery of it all. People are willing to die if they aren't dying in vain. They want to die in peace, or die for a cause. What i am trying to say is that we do have some control over when we die because we have the will to push ourselves forward, even if it is for just a few more hours or days. We set our goals straight ahead and keep marching to the same beat, and we will reach our destination. Sometimes we may be barely holding on, but we refuse to let go.

HW 29 - Reading and noting basic materials

Paying for medical care:

As Michael Moore has made clear to us in Sicko, taking care of your health is more then just going to the doctor when you are sick. It may lead to you getting better faster, but it will cause more financial problems down the road. In America we have a system where the health care companies want to make money off of us by denying our care when we really need it. As nearly 45 million citizens of the mighty United States, can we really say we care for our people? Dr. Paul Farmer ran a clinic in Haiti, mostly for free. "My local hospital in Massachusetts was treating about 175,00 patients a year and had an annual operating budget of $60 million. In 1999 Zanmi Lasante had treated roughly the same number of people, at the medical complex and out in the communities, and spent about $1.5 million, half of that in the form of donated drugs." (p.22). He proved that quality health care can be provided for much cheaper then it is at this current moment. It is more about making money here then it is healing the sick.

Facing Terminal Illness:

It is overwhelming to find out that all you have known now has a timeline. It puts everything into priority. When you find out that in six months everything you had and worked for your entire life will be what people will remember you by, you feel like you need more. You want to surround yourself with the people you love. Beth Burnett shared her story of how she watched her husband die of metastatic kidney cancer. He went from "Movie star handsome to skin and bones," as she said. What was even worse was that when her children needed a strong male role model, they had a father who couldn't walk or talk. It wasn't his fault, but he dying. But he was able to die with dignity in his home. According to And A Time To Die by Sharon Kaufman 1/4Th of all hospitalized patients die in the ICU or cardiac care. It takes away from the process of dying. To have to listen to your heart beat slowly fade on a beeping machine seems inhumane. But these people who come to the hospital for help with their terminal illness end up dying there because they can't be taken off of the machine.

The Process of Dying:

Is there such a thing as dying with dignity? You either die young and for some stupid reason, or old and hooked up to some machine. I have only heard of one story of a man who died a dignified death. He went about his day as normal, went to be with a book, read it, put it aside turned off the lights, fell asleep and then died in his sleep, completely peaceful. In Near Death, the Film, there are doctors who change a man's medication so that he looks better for his family for when they come to visit him. There are doctors who are 25-30 who are pronouncing a woman dead, but leave her body there for when her family get there, so they can see her. According to And A Time To Die by Sharon Kaufman more Americans die in hospitals then anywhere else. So where is the line between dying in peace and dying attached to a machine while being scrutinized by doctors. Well it seems pretty clear now. I can't say I can speak from experience but why would people subject themselves to this kind of torture if it is only for a few more days or weeks of life, but it is attached to a machine? It just doesn't feel natural to me.